There are days when I don’t want to write these. This is one of those days.
It’s not because of you, the wonderful and loyal reader. It’s because of Juventus. It’s because of Serie A. And it’s because of how just absolutely self-destructive the post-2020 version of Juve has continuously proven to be.
On a day in which all of three points separated second place and sixth and Juventus once again could have moved that much closer to qualifying for the Champions League, the worst-case scenario pretty much played out. Four out of the five teams that were playing at the same time won on Sunday. The one, as you already know from what the headline of this story says, was Juventus. And not only did Juventus not win, they completely fell flat on their face against a Fiorentina team that entered the day in 15th place and had only just recently been mathematically safe despite somewhat limping to the finish line. But on this day, a Fiorentina team that Viola fans probably hadn’t seen in quite some time showed up — and certainly helped that Juventus were rather poor no matter what most of the statistics will tell you.
Juventus lost 2-0 on the day. More importantly, they probably lost out on the Champions League, too.
That is not just down to what happened on this day. It is something that has been building for months now. It is the collective result of not beating teams you should because they’re bad. It’s the draws against Hellas Verona, against Fiorentina in November when they were at arguably one of their worst points all season, against other provincial sides that have always been the Achilles’ heel of this club over the last five or six years as their trajectory went downward.
You should not just be happy with scratching and clawing to get into the top four because, at some point, it will blow up in your face and leave you suddenly what you need to do survive that next season (or … gulp … more).
Yet here Juve were on Sunday needing to avoid the disaster and go into next weekend’s Derby della Mole with the chance to control their own destiny just as they did a year ago in Venice and claim their spot in the Champions League. What do they control now? Absolutely nothing. Not a damn thing.
Every single whistle they got as they walked off the field at the half and then after the final whistle — completely deserved.
Every bit of criticism they will get both the rest of the day on Sunday, in the papers on Monday and all throughout the next few days and probably weeks to follow — coimpletely deserved.
Juventus had their fate completely in their hands. They entered the day with a chance — albeit a fairly unlikely one — to actually finish the afternoon in second place. That would have been a rather big accomplishment for Luciano Spalletti considering the mess that he took over back in the final hours of the month of October.
And what did they do with it?
They fumbled it. They completely fumbled it all away against a Fiorentina team that did pretty much the only motivating factor they had coming into this game — ruin Juventus’ Champions League hopes with all of one game remaining after Matchday 37.
You want a visual representation of how Matchday 37 went for Juventus? Here you go …
Juventus’ Champions League hopes, a lot like Kevin’s chili, is all over the floor and in desperate need of having it cleaned up. Or, I guess in this case, pretty much all a mess because they couldn’t beat a Fiorentina team that hadn’t won in a month, hadn’t scored in their last three games and looked to be relatively close to being in “1, 2, 3, Cancun!” vibes with a couple of weeks t ogo.
Ah, but against Juventus they turned up. Funny how that all works.
At sone point you hoped things would click on Sunday afternoon and Juventus would get a goal or two to kick things into gear. It never arrived. Once again, they fell behind on the first shot on goal of the game by the opponent with the added bonus of another questionable display by Michele Di Gregorio at his near post. It was Fiorentina’s first goal since April 26.
For the next 60 minutes, Juve were forced to chase the game. Which, for a club that struggles to consistently score goals, is not something you actually want to see happen.
They did get a goal to tie it up … until VAR chalked it off because Dusan Vlahovic was ruled offside — again. You don’t have to look very far back to see that happen. Last week it didn’t cost Juventus any points. This week, though, it did.
But it’s not like Vlahovic being offside — which proved to be the right call the more you saw the replays of it, I’ll add — is what cost Juventus the game. It was so much of what happened before and after. At times it was Juventus vs. David de Gea, and the veteran goalkeeper still showed he’s got something left in the tank. Other times it was almost like it was Juventus vs. themselves, the kind of battle that we’ve seen so many times before.
Then again, that’s why we’re in this mess and now why Juventus need to beat Torino next weekend and get multiple teams to help them out if they want to be in the Champions League and not the Europa League.
Before kickoff against Fiorentina, Juventus’ chances of qualifying for the Champions League was around 75%, according to the Opta supercomputer.
Now, it’s not even 15%.
Somehow, it feels even less than that — and Juventus can only blame themselves for that.
RANDOM THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS
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Wasn’t hoping to do a rage writing and being absolutely pissed off as the sun rises here in the Pacific time zone. But here we are, folks. Thanks to Juventus for making sure I’m in a foul mood the rest of the day.
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But I’m here because I am just that dedicated to the cause. I wonder why I do this to myself.
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What, no goal after 12 seconds this time? Slackers.
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Then again, expecting Juventus to actually score might have been too much to ask on this day.
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At least the new home kits looked nice. Just like with the special edition fourth kit we saw earlier this season, this was one hell of a way to bring them into the fold.
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Di Gre, my guy, just one piece of advice: PROTECT YOUR NEAR POST WITH YOUR LIFE.
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I don’t know how many times my college coach told me this. You don’t protect your near post, it’s one of the biggest cardinal sins for a goalkeeper to commit. Yet here we are with Di Gregorio — again.
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Total juxtaposition that on the other end of the field you had de Gea on a total heater, too. Just perfect.
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Di Gregorio bad.
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Bremer bad — and suspended for the Turin derby.
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Mostly everybody bad.
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Some of Vlahovic’s hold-up play was truly hilarious against Fiorentina. Not because it made me laugh in an amusing kind of way, but instead because it was just not very good at all.
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JUST STAY ONSIDE, DUSAN. THAT’S THREE GOALS IN TWO GAMES.
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I really want to stop this post right here. Maybe I should.
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Edon Zhegrova did not add a single thing to this team after he came on and boy has that signing turned out to be a complete dud. I was excited for him to arrive. Now I’m wondering if it’s worth keeping him considering he has started all of one more game than any of us has this season and seemingly regressed as the season has gone on.
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But don’t worry, surely the Juve social media team will post some 30-second video of Edon dong some tricks and flicks during warmups and his second-half cameo with some emojis in the caption to make everything look so much better than they actually are.
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Rolando Mandragora just loves scoring bangers against Juventus, huh? Funny how that works.
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Nicolo Fagioli played well against Juve. Funny how that works.
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Kenan Yildiz is not healthy, he’s probably gassed on top of it and Fiorentina was sending half their team to mark him when he had the ball. Sounds like the recipe for another quiet afternoon no matter what his Sofascore rating ends up being.
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The progression of just getting the ball wide and hoping those wide players do something cool either with a cross or a shot just seems like it’s becoming a little too stale and predictable. Maybe there’s a little sarcasm thrown in there because it 1000000000% feels way too stale. Like a piece of bread left out overnight after dinner. Just bin it.
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Do I really want to say anything else about this? No, not really.
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Actually, I’ll say one more thing: Going from two points off second place to now needing a miracle next weekend to qualify for the Champions League feels like the perfect encapsulation of Juventus in 2026. How far this club has fallen — and who knows if the shock of no UCL football next season will be the thing that actually makes so many at this club realize things need to change in a major way to actually become even close to a title challenger again. This was the wrong time for a complete faceplant, but they did it and now they are about to reap the “rewards” of said actions.
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Also, please forgive any typos in this post, please. It’s currently 6:05 in the morning as I type this sentence.
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I’ll try to go back to bed. It’s too early for bourbon. At least right now.
